truth

Risk. Truth. Courage

Posted by Barbara Techel


“Its hard to tell the truth, but once told, it’s hard to keep it back.” ~Sharon Green

My brother, 9-years younger than me, became a soldier at 38-years old. Joined the National Guards, quit smoking, went off to boot camp and followed his heart just last year.

A troubled young man for much of his youth – in what seems an instant,  he changed and went after what he wanted for his life. I couldn’t be more proud.

Our difference in age had me not much involved with his life- but it never meant I didn’t love him or care about him. We lived our own lives- finding our own way. That has always seemed to be an understanding between us.

Little did I know that by finding his courage to join the National Guards at what most would say was “too old” he would recently  help me build my courage to share some truth I had been holding in for quite some time.

A truth that was hard for me because I realized how deep it ran for me to  not want to disappoint others, but now facing full on that I had only been disappointing myself. It was, and still is, a hard place for me to be… but I’m beginning to see the light of some blessings that have come to light.

My “little” brother leaves for overseas soon, after the holidays, and will be gone for a year. Though the war is “officially” over it is still a risk. One he is willing to take for what he believes in. That risk he believes in led him to wanting to clear up other issues in his life before he leaves, which helped led me to clear some issues too. Though still painful for me, it is a gift, I realize… he helped me to speak my truth… which I can feel in time will only lead me down the road to more of who I am. I can feel it, but not quite see it, but I know it’s there. I truly believe he helped take me a step further in my evolution. For that I am grateful. Truly and deeply grateful.

My “little” brother who may have thought he didn’t have validation in what he had to say for so many years gave me another piece of courage to live more fully into what I want for my life. So I want to be sure to say thank you the only way I know how, which is through my writing. Thank you. Thank you. May God be with you as you travel afar and know you will be held tightly in my heart. Godspeed.

“This brings rest to my heart. I feel like a leaf after a storm, when the wind is still.” ~Petalasharo, Pawnee from 365 Days of Walk the Red Road, The Native American Path to Leading A Spiritual Life Every Day.”

Faith, Religion, and Standing Tall

Posted by Barbara Techel

 

Daily Word is a subscription I subscribe to. It it is my time with God. I believe in what is my God, which I believe is also the Universe, which we are all a part of. I am often struck at how each day’s lesson speaks to me. It helps balance me and keeps me moving forward. Today’s Faith lesson resonated deeply on many levels.

Much of my growing stronger and standing tall in who I am has also come from a 10-inch tall wiener dog who rolls around in a doggie wheelchair named Frankie. Some of you may have heard of her. <wink>

I’m working on a book right now about what I’ve learned from Frankie. One section in my book talks about my faith. I was raised a Lutheran, going to church most Sunday’s as a little girl. But then my parents divorced and going to church was not something I did with my mom and siblings.

For a while in my life, I struggled with not having been confirmed. But as I’ve grown older I realize I am of no particular religion. Feeling not good about being confirmed, for me, was because I felt I got caught up in what society felt was right. I’m not saying being confirmed and going to church, or being a certain religion is not a good thing. If it works for others and helps them- then I think that is great.

But for me personally, I don’t find a religion that 100% agrees with who I am. I feel more of a spiritual person, not attached to a religion. For many years I felt shame if someone asked me if I went to church or not. Like it was bad if I didn’t.

Recently I did a school visit with Frankie for a small catholic school. When I was done with my presentation and the kids were walking by petting Frankie, a parent approached me and said, “Are you catholic?” I felt that same fear rise up in me- like if I wasn’t would that make me not good enough? It caught me off guard that she asked me this question. But I kindly said, “No I am not.”

She said, “Oh, I see. The reason I ask is my husband writes for a catholic newspaper. When he heard about you and Frankie he wanted to write a story about you. But he couldn’t think of an angle.”

Thinking thoughtfully and speaking from my I AM, I said, “Well, I do believe in God and I do believe that His mission for me at this time in my life was to teach what I am teaching with Frankie as my example.” She smiled, nodding her head.

I continued and said, “And you know, I believe animals are God’s creatures He created. What a beautiful opportunity your husband would have to share one of God’s creatures, Frankie, with his readers, helping them understand that pets with special needs are no different than other animals and deserve a chance.”

She seemed to listen to what I said intently, nodding, and then said thank you.

As I drove home, I wondered if her husband would call and do a story. I haven’t heard from him yet. I may not. But I also realized how proud I was to feel comfortable in what I said and what I believed. I also feel Frankie and my story is not about a religion, but so much more.

Standing tall is not always easy in world of many views, but until we do, our soul can’t continue forward. I’m learning that with each step I take and that the only way to truly live is from your own heart.

Living Your Truth

Posted by Barbara Techel

 

As I mentioned last week, the first draft of my first nonfiction book for adults is now done. Today I began going back in to tweak it for grammar, spelling, more thoughts, etc. Then it will make its way to my editor. I want to take my time with the 2nd revision, but also am excited about the editing process.

As I’ve begun reviewing what I wrote, I find myself having fear come up about being judged. More than 85% of the people in the world want to write a book, but many don’t. I think often times it is fear that holds them back. As I’ve been writing this book the last 11 months I find myself getting stronger in my courage and my truth. My story may not resonate with everyone- that would be silly to even think that it would- but it may help just one person. I remind myself to speak my truth not only for myself, but in hopes it will help that one person.

I also have a reminder on my desk next to my laptop, where I write that reminds me about my truth. Years ago when I decided to pursue writing, I joined a woman’s writing group. One of the exercises we did at one of our gatherings was to write a word (or two) that resonated with us. My Truth came to me right away. I knew it because my heart raced and tears filled my eyes immediately.

I was lead to living my truth after watching my 9-year old lab, Cassie live eight months with terminal bone cancer. The joy I saw in her sweet face each day despite her impending death was a jolt to my own mortality. We never know how long we each have on this earth, right? How often we spend it struggling and living with not much joy. I didn’t want that- I wanted to live my life in my own way, and my own joy.

My stone reminds me of that when I lose my way… or today, just as I finished working on my manuscript for the day, Frankie perked her head up and looked directly into my eyes. I think it was her way of saying, “Keep on going, Mom. You can do it.”

Others stones in my collection of words are sentimental, just be, happy, joy, and reflect. I also have the date 11-08 on a stone. That was the day I held my first published children’s book in my hands. I especially like the word sentimental too. For so many years I thought I was werid for getting so mushy over things others didn’t. But being sentimental, I’ve come to realize, is a gift. I wouldn’t want to be any other way.

Living in a world full of maddening view points can be scary when one is trying to live their own truth. But I’ve come to believe more and more each day that if more of us did just that what a profound and positive affect it would have on the world.

What is your word that resonates with you?